My husband has prostate cancer. This is our story and hopefully it may help someone else going through the same situation. Please, feel free to share your story in the comments also. I welcome all the community support!
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In August 2015, I was scheduling my husband’s regular blood work for his high blood pressure medications. He had been complaining about being tired a lot and mentioned it was taking a longer time to pee than usual. Well, I thought maybe his testosterone level was low…you know, he is 43 years old and that is about the age that starts to happen. But, he is WAY too young for prostate cancer, so the urination problem I didn’t think much of. Honestly, I thought every time he went to pee he was just playing on his cell phone. In my mind that is what was “really” taking him so long.
Anyway, I called to set up his blood work for his blood pressure medicine and told the nurse all of these things. She said she would add additional test since they were taking blood anyway. While seeing the doctor for his blood test results he was told his testosterone was a little towards the low side however, still in normal range. He chatted with the doctor and they decided to take blood to test his PSA level.
The test came back two days later with a PSA of 21. The nurse called to inform him to see an urologist right away. Two days later, we were told by the urologist my husband was too young for prostate cancer and it is most likely an infection that caused the PSA to spike. He took a round of antibiotics for a week, {he followed a Prostatitis Diet during this time} and then took another blood test a week after finishing the medication. PSA still came back high at 19.3.
If you are having trouble understanding all the numbers and what to expect perhaps you should check out PROSTATE CANCER: From PSA Test To Prostate Biopsy, Diagnosis To Prostate Surgery, To Recovery.
The biopsy was next. Still with the doctor saying he didn’t think it was cancer. And trust me, by this time I was totally over what this doctor ‘thought’ or ‘felt’ it was or was not. I wanted facts based on test! Sept 17, 2015, we went in for the biopsy results. Yes, my husband has prostate cancer. Five of the samples came back malignant, two suspicious and five benign. Gleason score 6 {10 is the highest and worst}.
What do you do when you find out your husband has prostate cancer?!
Answer: You just get into bed, cry, laugh and snuggle together!
Next, my husband was scheduled for an MRI and a Bone Scan on Sept 30, 2015. We found out on Oct 2nd that the MRI and Bone Scan both look good! Thankfully! Our local urologist recommended surgery, however we are not the type of people who like to have only one opinion.
On Oct. 8th we went out to MD Anderson to learn our options. I do want to brag a bit on MD Anderson. Everything was professional and well organized for us! Since, we had sent all of my husband’s samples, test, and scans out to MD Anderson prior to our appointment they had time to re-evaluate all of the tests. In their evaluations, they found seven samples from the biopsy to be malignant. Basically, the two noted as suspicious in the first evaluation had been fount to be cancer in the re-evaluation.
While we had our hopes on Proton Therapy, after discussing our options at MD Anderson, we have decided on a robotic radical prostatectomy nerve sparing surgery. We hope it will be nerve sparing to keep down complications after surgery. However, we are fully aware of all the complications and the fact that 13% of patients going into a nerve sparing surgery end up being non-nerve sparing surgery.
Right now, our goal is for my husband to be around for a long time! We have three boys ages; 17, 9, and 5. He wants to kick cancer out the door and we will deal with the rest of the side-effect as they come.
There is a lot of information out there about several different types of ways to survive prostate cancer. If you are faced with the same situation we are, please do your research and decide what is best for your situation.
Here are a few books on Amazon with great reviews you may want to read to help you make your decision.
Dr. Patrick Walsh’s Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer
You Can Beat Prostate Cancer: And You Don’t Need Surgery to Do It
Surgery is scheduled for next month (November). I will keep all of you updated on how it goes and my husband’s progress.
I’ve been keeping you both in my prayers since you shared what you are going through. My one piece of advice would be to find a local support group (many hospitals have them) and BOTH attend. I know my mom and dad have found their local group to be incredibly supportive and love having people to talk to who get what they are going through.
We found an online support group but, looking into a local one we can actually go to together does sound like a good idea. Thank you so much Maureen!
Cancer is a very scary thing! Color me educated in this! Travis is on the right road and with you, his Family and the strength of prayer we will see this through. Dee will be there and we’ll both come down to Houston before y’all had back to Alabama. Please let me know if there’s more I can do! Love y’all…in my prayers always…
I too have prostate cancer. I am 52 now. I had the same procedure you described on Jan. 14 2013 in Birmingham, AL. The surgery went as expected. I went in on Monday and was back home on Tuesday. I was home but not pain free, but at least I was at home. The worst part of the recovery was having to wear the catheter for 5 days after the surgery. But hey I did not have to worry about getting up and going to the bathroom!! You have to look at the bright side. I do not know what your doctor has told you about after the catheter is removed. Do not worry, removing the catheter is pain free. Bladder control has not been a huge issue with me. The key is doing the sphincter muscle exercises. That is how to control now. I wore depends for about 4 weeks after just to feel safe. Its not one of those “ohhh crap!! just peed myself” kinda things. At least not for me. If I ever had a “leakage” it was just a few drops. Then you learn what to do and when. It has not been an issue. Go to the bathroom more often than I used to. The most important part I guess is the other function. It returns. Slowly. But it returns. Not exactly like before. They gave me Cialis to take. Yes, you get prescribed “THE PILL”. It is mainly to get the blood flowing back to where its needed.
One of the biggest pain in the butts (sorta of a pun intended) was getting the bandages off my stomach. They but 2 small drain tubes in. Guess you gets to pull them out!! Yours truly. Now that was a funny feeling. They are sticking out of your stomach. Not no where else. All in all…. I am doing fine. You will too. It is a major surgery but not a major recovery. Just do as your doctor tells you. I was back to work in 3 weeks after mine. My job is sitting behind a computer. ( I am an engineer). So no lifting or pulling at anything. God is good!! He is the one that got me thru this. I am still not done. They say you have to be clear of cancer for 5 yrs before you can say you are cancer free. I am going to be finishing up my third year with my tests being negative. As long as I keep Jesus first in my life, I can make thru no matter what He has in store for me. You can do the same. Stay strong. I can tell you not to worry but you will worry. I still worry. But I have accepted what I have and I am going on faith. I trust Jesus 100 percent!! I will pray for you and your family!!
Hi Raymond. You have no idea how happy I am that you have shared your story and put in so many details! I have noticed that a lot of men are super closed lip about telling their prostate cancer story. My husband is like you, as he wants to tell his story and wants me to share mine as well so other men will not be as scared by the process. Many people think, oh it’s just a surgery and you are cancer free. We know it is much more than that. Thank you for your prayers and I will send some your way also. Have a blessed day!
Thank you for sharing, Raymond! My husband is about your age and so I hope that his surgery and recovery go as well as yours! God is good!
Bless you for sharing this with us. My husband is headed for a radical robotic prostatectomy on 6/12/21. You gave me hope.
So sorry to read about your husband’s cancer…
My wife had a breast cancer. Unfortunately our story didn’t end well-on the 19th of Oct was her 5th death anniversary since she passed away after long fight in 2010. We tried everything we could-she had chemo and radio both and we had such a hard time watching her feel even worse after those. The fight took 1,5 years since the tests that showed the last stage. So it was already pretty much lost fight from the start. But you still hope, even pray though am not religious really. My daughter and son are. The day I shaved her head was one of the toughest..It’s maybe not that huge to only lose your hair but for women I’m sure it takes her dignity and..But my wife was so brave and fought with everything she had.
Her death took its toll on every family member and we felt like we slowly but surely lost our mind after that. We argued, we nagged..We were hurt, in sorrow..
There are now days when my daughter looks at the photos and cries. Or granddaughter has her anxiety or panic attack and wants her grammy. They were really close. She lived most of her life with me and my wife.
I hope and pray for your family to be strong. I really hope that in your case it can be cured since you discovered it earlier. Your family must stay together and it will.
Henn
Henn, I am so sorry to hear your wife lost her battle. You express your emotions and tell your story so heartfully, I started crying reading it. I truly can feel and understand your pain. I pray your family may heal and remember her without crying one day.
This is an issue that deserves a lot of attention. I will never forget when my seventh grade math teacher came in crying one morning. She explained that she was so worried because her husband had prostate cancer. She had to explain to us what that meant. Most people still don’t know what an important body part that actually is-what it does, how important it is to overall health. This is something that a big name celebrity needs to get behind. Good luck to you, your husband, and your family. I genuinely sincerely all goes well. Hope he’s feeling better!
Amy, to tell the truth I didn’t know much about it till all of this happened. I agree it is something that is not talked about enough. Everyone knows Pink and October are Breast Cancer Awareness Month but, no one seems to know Light Blue and September is Prostrate Cancer Awareness Month.
I have learned a lot of men do not want to talk about it though. Not, my husband he is happy I am raising awareness. However, I have had women on Facebook message me instead of leaving a comment, telling me about their husbands. Then, explaining to me they don’t want to leave a message because their husband does not want anyone to know.
I thank you for sharing your story and for all the information. Sending good thoughts your way.
I am so sorry to hear this and I am grateful that you took the time to share your story. My husband is approaching 40 and I know what to look for.
I’m so sorry. I know this has got to be a difficult thing to deal with, and very personal. Thanks for sharing this information and I will keep you in my prayers.
First thank you for sharing something so personal. I wish your husband well, I myself have never had someone close to me who has had this type of cancer, My prayers are with you both.
I’m sorry. My uncle was just diagnosed with prostate cancer. He is doing well but gets tired easily and can’t get out as much as he used to. Wishing the best for your husband and you.
Thank you for sharing and educating and bringing awareness to this. Lots of love – S
im so sorry this is happening to your family but glad you are staying strong and presen with him
I am so sorry to hear about your husband! MD Anderson is a great health care facility, I’m sure he’ll get excellent care there. I’ll think good thoughts for you.
I wanna say first, Thank you for sharing your story. I know its one story you didn’t plan on telling. I’ll be saying Prayers for you & your family! Yes, Please keep us up to date on your husband’s health. Prayers & Healing to your family!
I will keep your husband, you and your family in my prayers.
You are very strong to share your family’s story. It is such a scary diagnosis and the “cancer” word alone can make me break out in sweat. You will be in our prayers and thank you for sharing. God Bless.
Wow, I’m so sorry to hear that! I’m sending prayers your way. My grandpa had it also. It was discovered when he was 50 & it was at stage 3 already. He managed to beat it for close to 13 years. Good luck to your husband, you & your family.
I am so sorry to hear this, I wish you all the best!
I am so sorry , my prayers are with you all , stay strong, eat healthy , exercise and pray.. I so hardly believe in the power of prayer…
@tisonlyme143
I am so sorry to hear that.
We also have cancer in our family. I like how you are both being positive and pro-active because that is really important. One thing we all did, when our loved one found out she had cancer, was we changed our diet. We eat really healthy now. No sodas, no fast food or fried food. We ear only organic veggies, fruit and chicken and fish. Whole grains and non fat dairy products. We all lost weight in the process. Your husband is in our prayers.
My late husband also had prostate cancer and it was hard to get through for us. Even with treatment it spread and about 3 years later he passed away.
I’m a nurse and try to read all the stories I can about how different people cope with diagnosis and disease. What a blessing to have a loving family and glad your husband can talk about it. I’m sure it makes the holidays with family and friends more precious, knowing he is tackling this so far. Hope you have a Merry Christmas.
Prayers for your husband. Thank you for sharing your husbands diagnosis with your followers. My husband is 43 and I worry about his health, he has different symptoms, but it’s scary no matter what because we think they are invincible. Please keep updating so we can keep praying. (((hugs)))
My husband has high blood pressure too & I always push him to get checked! Why do us women have to do this for their honeys! My husband will be 68 in 2 months and needs to keep his checkups, especially since I was diagnosed!! I am so glad that this has a HAPPY conclusion! But take it from someone who has Multiple Myeloma & Diabetes, cancer is always lurking! I don’t want to go into my fight, nut I will keep your family in my prayers!
Prayers to you both as you fight this awful disease!! I wish nothing but intelligent and swift doctors and patience, love and healing!!
You, your husband, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing your story.
I am so sorry you’re husband, you and your family are going through this. You will be in our thoughts and prayers.
OMG I’m so sorry. My brother had prostate cancer & they were able to do surgery and remove it with a lazer
My Dad, aged 81, has had a quadruple bypass, 13 stents, 3 major heart attacks, diabetes etc etc & was then diagnosed with prostate cancer. He underwent 3 months of radiotherapy, 5 days a week & kicked it’s butt! Never be afraid to reach out or talk about health problems.
I hope things are going well for you and your husband. Such a hard thing to go through and you both are young. May God be with you and your family.
I am a little freaked out- enough to have hubby see a doctor soon. He has a hard time going pee. I just go, he has to wait for it to come, and sometimes that takes a long time. Thank you so much for telling your story.
Hope things are going well for you and your husband. I know this can be trying and frustrating, but you can work through it. At least it is something they can hopefully take care of. Prayers for you and your family.
You seem to have covered all the basis..I had 2 brothers-in-law, one 68, the other 71, they both had to go all the way to surgery….unfortunately the 68 year old died within 5 months. thank the Lord Wayne is still getting minimal readings after his 3rd 6 month checkup. My prayers go out to your husband, you, your family because it affects everyone
thank you so much for sharing your story. Cancer is such a horrible disease. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
So sorry to hear this. I know dealing with cancer can be a roller-coaster ride. In 2005, my husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Luckily, surgery took care of it, but it is an ordeal I don’t want to live again. Will be praying for you and your family!
Tina, my heart hurts for you. My hubby is in his early 40’s, just had his first physical in years. I appreciate you sharing your story with us. Receiving a cancer diagnosis is devastating. I know when my Mom had cancer, it changed what we considered to be normal. I’m glad you shared so many resources of information with us.
I dread hearing those words cancer. It is like a meteor dropping on your house. I hope all is better now. Your husband is blessed to have a good wife who helped get his diagnosis and can help make good decisions about treatment. I have a relative who had been working in a biotech company getting a product through FDA for prostrate cancer, so I started reading a lot of articles.