My Husband Has Prostate Cancer Now What
My husband has prostate cancer! Now What? Well, in short, life goes on for now. Travis has prostate cancer and it truly sucks more than the #cancersucks hashtag can explain to you. We want to make more memories as a family together and to make the most out of our lives together but, that’s hard to do because of all the medical bills. Basically, to have more adventures as a family requires time and money, yet the majority of time must be spent on working for insurance and bills.
It’s a catch 22!
- A requirement that cannot be met until a prerequisite requirement is met, however, the prerequisite cannot be obtained until the original requirement is met.
I am sure you have heard the saying, “Things have gone from bad to worse.” That is exactly what has happened since I have updated all of you last about my husband’s prostate cancer. We proceeded with the robotic radical prostatectomy nerve sparing surgery with Dr. Pettaway at MD Anderson. That was a hard surgery for my husband to heal from. Really, much harder for my husband to get over than we thought it would be. We stayed at the Extended Stay America Hotel right next to MD Anderson for 11 days after surgery. We live over 500 miles away and I just can’t image him having made that trip home. I’m so glad we decided to stay close to the hospital. It was a long and expensive stay but, a much better rate than other hotels! If you are wondering what to expect after a prostatectomy, I will tell that story in another post soon. Trust me, you will want to read it! We learned a lot after surgery!
The Dreaded Post-Op Pathology Report
Since we live so far away from the hospital, my husband’s doctor called us with the results. We already knew he had cancer so really, we thought it was not going to get any worse, right?! Nope, we were wrong. About a week before Christmas, we got the call. Thankfully, the kids were not home at the time. I don’t think I could have handled this call with them home. The doctor asked Travis if I was around and could he put him on speaker so he could talk to both of us. My heart even drops now remembering that phone call.
Apparently, the biopsy results were way off. Instead of a Gleason 6 my husband has Gleason 9 Prostate Cancer. The doctor went on to explain that the cancer is a lot more aggressive than they had believed at first. It had spread to the lymph nodes and Travis would never be cured of Prostate cancer. He explained all the details of the pathology report. Then, I did what looking back on, I probably should not have done. I asked what did that mean; what was my husband’s life expectancy; how long did he have to live? I wanted the answers and I wanted it straight! The doctor replied, “I feel confident we can get you a good 7, maybe even 8 years…..”
After that I don’t think I remember a word he said. Tears started running down my face and I felt like I could not breath. My thoughts just went random. What? Eight years! And he said it so upbeat, like that was a good thing. We have three boys ages 17, 10, and 5. Our youngest would only be 13 years old! That is not long enough!! My husband is only 43 years old and you are saying I will lose him before I am 46 years old!!?
Our Lives Have Changed Forever
Cancer has changed our lives forever. In some ways, our lives have changed for the better. You wouldn’t think a person with a loved one who has terminal cancer would say that, huh? Well, for this moment it is true. We are eating healthier, most of the time. Occasionally, we still eat junk food but, trust me we are much more aware what goes into our bodies. We planted a garden! I do not have a green thumb but, I am trying! It is kind of nice to go out there every day and water the garden. We also planted pear trees! hehe I planted four! My husband is like, “What are we going to do with all those pears?!” I told him not to worry, I am sure I will kill at least three of the trees.
We are traveling and doing more. You quickly realize that tomorrow is really not guaranteed in any way. I know, this is true for everybody. Any of us can die in a car wreck, heart attack, stroke, robbery, bad weather, and so on. But, when a doctor tells you there are only 8 years left, it makes it so much more real! Travis loves kayaking and I try to encourage him to go as often as he wants. We have started hanging out with friends more often and going down to the beaches close to us every chance we get. We are currently planning a family vacation. Travis and I are actually going somewhere for our anniversary this year! We never had a honeymoon.
I have started making our garage a home gym. Actually, the gym set should be here this week! Yeah! It is about time! It has been on back order for two months. The doctors have told us a healthy diet and exercise are key for Travis. I still have hope. I have hope that doctors will find a cure. I have hope that this cure will come before it is too late for us. I even have hope that maybe Travis will be the reason they find a cure. He has started the Finite Clinical Trail at MD Anderson Cancer Center. We have much hope that this very trial could possibly lead to his and others cure for prostate cancer!
So What Now?
For now we are going to continue traveling back and forth to MD Anderson Cancer Center. It’s actually become a rather enjoyable trip to take with Travis. We look at it as our alone time together. We don’t agree on the same music so, we don’t even play the radio anymore.
My husband and I want to share our story with all of you. This article is just the beginning of what we want to share. We are going to share our favorite healthy recipes, how to have a home gym, gardening tips (if I can develop that green thumb), our travels, and more. To go along with the good there is also the bad to share. Too many men are affected with this horrible cancer yet, so many of them keep it to themselves. Prostate cancer takes away some men’s feelings of manly-hood, it can take away sex, and the ability to control urine. We want to talk about all of it! This is the real part of #cancersucks.
Life has to go on for now. The kids have to continue their lives like normal. They know their daddy has prostate cancer but, we have not told the two youngest boys the life expectancy. Our middle son likes to talk about the future a lot. And there are some days I just want to break out in tears because of a suggested future adventure I know may never happen. You have no idea the sadness you feel when your child says, “Hey Daddy, how old will you be when I am your age?”
If you would like to read some of my husband’s words or support us in any way please check out our Go Fund Me Page.